I’m hesitant to write here at all, honestly. It’s been almost a year since I wrote last, and I’ve done little to address my weight in the meantime. A few false starts, sure, but nothing that’s lasted. I’m feeling like something needs to change, even though I don’t have a plan yet. There were a few pictures taken of me over Christmas that I found horrifying. I mean, I know I’m overweight, but seeing pictures of myself just make me think “Oh my god, I’m huge.”

The damage isn’t as bad as I thought it was… my starting weight previously is listed as 244. My current weight? 244. Not where I would have hoped to be a year later, but it could be worse. Like I mentioned before, I don’t have a plan right now. I haven’t made any resolutions. I can’t promise that I’ll post here again between now and January of 2010. But I do feel like something’s gotta give.

I’ve had a couple of goals on a 101 Things in 1001 days list that relate to weightloss/fitness, so hopefully something will happen there soon. Those goals, without looking at the list, off the top of my head are to lose 50 lbs, completely couch to 5k, and run in the 5k at Sunburst. The Sunburst races are June 6th this year, and I’m not thinking it’s going to happen this year unless I manage to come up with a treadmill. My finances are a bit (ha) pinched right now so I certainly can’t afford to buy one.

So basically, I guess this is a post to tell you that I’m in the same place I was a year ago, and I have no idea if or how that is going to change this year.

Beginning Weight: 244
Week Beginning: 234
Current Weight: 232.5
Week’s Loss: -1.5
Total: -11.5 lbs

I forgot to post yesterday! I was busy with other things while I was at work, and then I was gone most of the evening. In any case, I got on the scale yesterday morning to see 232.5. (Got off the scale, and back on just to be sure lol) So that’s a loss of another pound and a half. I’m not celebrating yet because I’m sure I undid that progress last night. Remember when I said I was gone most of the evening? I was at Texas Roadhouse celebrating my dad’s wife’s birthday… and boy did I eat my share of food! You just can’t resist those beautiful rolls with cinnamon butter. They ordered a Cactus Blossom too, and I picked at that. I don’t even LIKE onions, but deep fry them and give me fattening sauce to dip them in and apparently that’s all it takes!
On the positive side, I managed to complete three (and a half) workouts last week, while not the five that I had hoped to do, is better than the ZERO I’d been doing in previous weeks! So far, the workout count for this week is still at 0, but there’s time to change that.

I’m thrilled to be able to relate that I’ve been exercising again this week. And I’m hoping that by telling all of you that I am, I’ll be more inclined to CONTINUE said exercise program again.
You know, I hadn’t realized how much forward progress I had made when I was exercising the last time until this week when I started over again, and was back to struggling through. Back to looking at the counter on the DVD player and thinking, “Oh my goodness, are you SURE it’s only been 5 minutes?”
And I don’t know if you guys have realized the very best part of exercising… if I find that I’m not losing weight at the rate I feel like I should, I have a ready made excuse. Muscle weighs more than fat! So clearly, I am both losing fat AND gaining muscle, hence the barely moving scale. Okay, that might not always be the truth, but it makes me feel better…

Beginning Weight: 244
Week Beginning: 235.5
Current Weight: 234
Week’s Loss: -1.5
Total: -10 lbs

Shockingly enough, today marks 10 pounds lost so far! Apparently I did just enough this week to keep making forward progress. Don’t ask me how… I didn’t keep track more than I did, and Friday night was just scary. Sarah and I got pizza, and ate way too much. I paid for that one for awhile!
But it was kind of amusing. Saturday was the bridal expo, and Sarah is getting married so I tagged along with her. They had all kinds of samples of wedding cake, and meatballs, and the like, and I was just getting annoyed that they all had these gorgeous displays of fresh fruit with Do Not Eat signs on them. Cake available, and I wanted the pineapple! lol (Though they had some chocolate mousse cheescake in chocolate cups and they were divine. I told Sarah to just stack those in tiers and call it a wedding cake!)
I’m hoping to do much better this week. I did a workout yesterday morning while waiting on my laundry, and I hope to do one tonight and keep that momentum going. I also headed out last night to get some groceries so I could take my lunch, and hopefully even cook a few things. I’ve got a cooking light cookbook here with me now, so I’m going to go through that and see if I can find some recipes to try.
How did you do this week?

Beginning Weight: 244
Week Beginning: 236.5
Current Weight: 235.5
Week’s Loss: -1
Total: -8.5

I’m trying to tell myself that 1 lb a week (or 1.5) is a nice healthy weightloss.. but I can’t help but feel that I’m going to scratch out this weight loss with my fingernails. Don’t know if that makes sense to anyone but me! BUT I know that there are things I could be doing to help that along a little better that I’m NOT doing, so I’m not going to get discouraged. My goal for this week is to be stricter with writing down everything I’m eating. I’ve been keeping track in my head, but it’s easier to justify 2 points for chocolate when you aren’t looking at it in black and white.

I have to confess that this week has probably been more bad than good. I stuck to my plan on Wednesday, Thursday and most of Friday afternoon… and then I started getting into the chocolate drawer. Then I decided that it was nasty outside and didn’t want to mess with getting decent food, so I ordered pizza (a small pizza and breadsticks) from Papa Johns. That wouldn’t have been too bad except I ate until I was STUFFED instead of just satisfied. And then I ate more chocolate.
Saturday’s food was PopTarts, the rest of the pizza and a few more breadsticks, chocolate, and Tuna Helper. Ouch. Sunday wasn’t too bad. I had mini-muffins for breakfast, and I made White Chicken Parmesan for lunch with salads. I never got hungry enough for another meal before bed, so I just picked at some pretzel sticks.
I honestly think the only thing that saved me this week is that I cleaned my apartment. And I mean CLEANED. Scrubbed the kitchen and the bathroom, and purged a ton of stuff from the living room. So I was up on my feet more than I usually am on the weekends. And then I was up and down the stairs a million times between taking down the trash and recycling, and bring up the groceries.
The moment of truth was this morning… I got up and before I hopped in the shower, I stepped on the scale. And then I stepped off, and back on. And then I stepped off and back on again. All 3 times, it said the same thing… 236.5, a loss of 2 pounds from last Tuesday, which doesn’t seem remotely possible given my lousy eating. But it was a good reminder that the days I *did* eat better were worth it, as well as all the small movements that add up. Even small changes, such as eating healthy lunches at work instead of greasy hamburgers and french fries from the grill, can mean forward progress. It’s something I need to keep in mind, knowing there will be more chocolate days at some point in my future. I’d rather lose weight painstakingly slowly than not lose weight at all.

Starting Weight: 244
Week Starting Weight: 238.5
Current Weight: 236.5
This Week’s Progress: -2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: -7.5 lbs.

So, how did we all survive the holidays? So far, not too bad on my end. When I started doing the Weight Watchers thing again, I decided that I wasn’t going to restrict myself at my holiday gatherings. If I wanted some of Grandma’s fudge, I had some of Grandma’s fudge. (Trust me, you would too… there’s no such thing as willpower where Grandma’s fudge is involved… it’s the best fudge you’ll ever taste.)
I don’t know the total scope of the damage, but I did weigh myself Christmas morning and I weighed exactly the same as I did last week, give or take a half a pound. It’s just so hard to tell on those dial scales! Given that I’d already survived three of five holiday meals, I was doing alright! Then yesterday morning it was right back to counting my points and making forward progress.
I did get a new scale (as the title suggests) for Christmas though. Don’t worry– I asked for it, and picked it out.

It is digital, so no more guessing whether the marker is on the line, or in between them. It also is supposed to measure body fat percentage and water content, but I honestly haven’t gotten the directions out enough to figure it out. I got halfway there once on accident, and then couldn’t do it again.
But the new scale, while easier to read, measures me as 5 lbs heavier than the other one, so there are some adjustments to the numbers in order. Since I’ll be using the new digital scale from now on, I’m going to change my starting weight to reflect the five pound difference, making that 244 instead of 239.

Starting Weight: 244
Current Weight: 238.5
Total Weight Lost to date: 5.5 lbs

Well, today officially marks one week doing the Weight Watchers thing. I had a pretty good week, actually. Adjusting to not grazing on food all the time was a challenge, and I feel like I spent way too much time thinking about food– what I had eaten, what I wasn’t going to eat, what points were in all my options, doesn’t a cheeseburger sound good, if I eat a lean cuisine for dinner how many Hershey Kisses can I eat? You get the point. All in all though, I stayed on the plan. I even managed to go out to lunch at my favorite restaurant with my mom on Saturday without going over my points. I used some of the weekly flex points, but I still ended the week with some of those left over.
The goal for this week is to continue more of the same… I’m hoarding my weekly flex points for Saturday because it’s the first of my holiday meals with family, and it’s a meal that I requested before I started WW, and I plan to enjoy it. I also want to get some exercise in this week (besides cleaning the snow off my car, that is!). I did a short workout yesterday, and am feeling that already today. My friend Sarah and I are going to go to the library tomorrow night to go through some cookbooks looking for healthy recipes.

And now for what you’ve all been waiting for… the results! This is the point where I confess that I don’t have an official week starting weight. Oops. I do know that I had been fluctuating between 235 and 240. Mostly in the 238-240 area. I weighed in this morning at 233. So I lost at least 2 lbs. and maybe even a little bit more than that. This puts me one pound below where I was at when I began my month-plus long break, so I’ll definitely take it!

Starting Weight: 239 lbs.
Current Weight: 233 lbs.
Total Weight Loss: -6 lbs.

Today is my second day of using the Weight Watchers food plan. So far, so good. I had gotten into quite the habit of just grazing all evening, so I’m struggling a little bit. It’s going to be good to re-teach myself when I’m hungry. Like right now. I’m blogging to keep myself busy for a minute because I want to go look for something to eat. I’m not hungry, but I keep trying to convince myself that I am. What’s with that?
I’ve been home from work for 2 hours and all I’ve had to eat is dinner? Oh, the horrors! I have some points left, so I will get a snack later, but right now I’m wanting to graze for the sake of grazing, and that’s going to be a struggle for a little bit I think.
I need to start thinking about exercise soon… I’ll still use my exercise DVDs that I have (I really wanted to add the word hopefully here, but what kind of a commitment is that?), but I’d like to do other things too. I had been thinking I might do some walking/jogging outside, but winter snuck right up on me. I’m in Indiana, and we’ve got some snow and ice on the ground now. Yeah, I don’t think so. I’d really love to get a treadmill or elliptical so that I could get moving… inside, where it’s warm. Even if it were a decent temperature outside… my neighborhood is not so great between the traffic and the creepy people lurking outside the bar down the road.

I’ve been in a stall pattern for the last month or so, but I’m looking to change that. In fact, I’m planning on starting Weight Watchers. I don’t have any intention of going to the meetings or anything, but I’m going to try follow the food plan. I haven’t started yet, but I’m going to as soon as I get materials in hand. It feels good knowing there’s a plan.
My best friend started weight watchers recently, and one of my friends at work is getting ready to resume her own diet plan, so I think now is a good time. The more support the better, especially since I won’t be paying for weekly meetings!